Monday, June 21, 2010

16

Sixteen years ago I landed in Canada with hopes and dreams of a better life.

It feels like yesterday my sister and I were in the plane maping out our lives,hoping for the better and fearing the worst. Our biggest fear was that my father would change his mind and not wait for us in the airport ( for the ones who do not know, he was absent from our lives for 10 years prior). We were making plans for what are we going to do in case that happens. "I'm taking the first plane back." my sister said. "Not me, Im staying!" I replied. That courage was coming from inside of me thinking that the hardships I had to endure and the lifestyle that I left behind was not an incentive for me to even think of going back. I will make it, I will work hard and make things possible for me. After all this is the land of opportunities, this is the land where dreams become reality, this is the land where people make something of themselves and hard work will speak for itself.

Although it had been very hard and many obstacles had come my way, I can honestly say that I am happy being here. I am happy that my life had changed and that the decision that I made to stay here in Canada had turned out to be one of the best decision that I have made.

I sit back and wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if I were not to come here. I will probably be married to someone that I don`t love. He would get to make decisions for me. I would be raising children and not be appreciated for it. I may or may not have been working and if I were to be working I probably would not have control over my money.

I thank the Creator for allowing me to live my life now the way I want to, the way that it makes me happy! I thank the Creator for giving me endless opportunities for improvement on myself and on making a diference in someone`s life, my children`s life! Thank you!

Peace and love,

Doina

Friday, June 4, 2010

I'm still living in the NOW!

From past experiences I realised that life is full of surprises but having the right support makes a crucial difference on what we become as individuals. To give you an example, let me tell you a little about my past. When I came to Canada, 16 years ago, I had nothing in my pocket and I wasn't equipped with knowledge about life either, at least not equipped with the lifestyle here, in Canada. I didn't speak the language, didn't have any friends, I was an outkast amongst my fellow Romanians as they were cooler than me simply because they came here before I did and obviously they knew much more than me about the Canadian way. I tried to make friends with many of them but it was hard because as much as I tried I did not feel like I belonged. My lifestyle at home was diferent than what they will encounter with their own families. They thought I was this lucky young woman to have it all, when in reality I didn't have anything, not even control over my own thoughts. I was controlled by my father and that wasn't easy at all. So, after a few years, I realised that in order for me to become myself I needed to separate myself from that environment but in order to do that successfully I needed encouragement. I needed to feel empowered. I was lucky to have my sister that gave me strenght. It is hard to believe sometimes that my sister and I have a relationship more than a friendly one, but her and I had been through a lot together. She had been there for me and I had been there for her to the best of my abilities. So here she was being my right hand, what I needed to be able to move forward to finding myself. It was a long journey and not easy at all. But with her help I have become the woman I am today, not to say Im perfect in any way or that my sister and I don't fight, because that would be a lie, but as far as I am concerned her and I have gone thorugh a lot together and that's what made us bond even more. Our relationship is not perfect but it is Honest, more that what most posses in their relationships with whomever.

I give thanks to my sister for her support. I challenge you to find your own "sister" to support you because as much as we don't want to admit it, we all need someone to be there for us in challenging times.

What do I want to be when I grow up? I don't even know many times. I think the best answer to that would be a better person. If I have to sit here and think about the many things that I could become it will take a long time to do so because I want to do so much; I want to change the world into a better place if I could do it on my own but in being a better person will allow me to be my best at whatever I may chose to do in life starting with being a better mother, daughter, sister, friend...

Still living in the NOW!

Peace and Love.

D.