tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32664875634698620542024-03-14T03:47:13.499-04:00Doina's Life ExperiencesDoina's Life Expereinces! All about My Life!Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-65396083265655293382012-05-06T12:09:00.001-04:002012-05-06T12:10:29.527-04:00This Mother's Day, Tell Your Mama<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">For immediate release</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">May 4, 2012</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.ernestines.ca/" target="_blank">Ernestine’s Women’sShelter</a> offers you a fun way to <a href="http://www.ernestines.ca/take-action/tell-your-mama" target="_blank"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell YourMama</i></a> </span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">(TORONTO) </b>If you’ve ever experienced the Mother’s Day dilemma about
what to do for your mom to let her know how much you appreciate her, you need
look no further for an answer. </div>
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Ernestine’s, a shelter for abused
women and children since 1983, is providing a fun opportunity to let your
mother know that you are thinking about her with the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Your Mama</i> email campaign.
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Led by the shelter’s Community Engagement Team, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Your Mama</i> is a playful way to
engage the friends of the shelter, increase awareness of violence against women
and raise much-needed funds. </div>
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“Letting your mom know you love her
in your own special way is what this campaign is all about,” says Chevaunise
Toney, Coordinator, Community Engagement & Finance, “And it’s so easy. Simply visit the Ernestine’s website <a href="http://www.ernestine.ca/"><span style="color: #cc0066;">www.ernestine.ca</span></a> and click on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Your Mama</i>. Make a
donation of $25 and follow the instructions on how to post a message to your
mama. Either I or another team member
will post that message on our special online <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Your Mama Message Board</i>.” </div>
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“The impact of violence on the lives of women and children
has been off the front pages for the last decade or so,” adds Jill Cunningham,
Director of Community Engagement & Finance for the shelter. </div>
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“Now, more than ever, we need the community to come together
to say no to violence against women. That’s why our priority in 2012 is to use
every tool available to raise to build a strong supporter base that not only
helps women who are abused, but raises awareness among a generation of young
people that violence against women is wrong and has no part in any
relationship. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Your Mama</i> is an important part of that.”</div>
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Check out Tell Your Mama at <a href="http://www.ernestines.ca/take-action/tell-your-mama">http://www.ernestines.ca/take-action/tell-your-mama</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">-30 -</span></div>
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For more information contact Jill
Cunningham, <a href="mailto:financedirector@ernestines.ca"><span style="color: #cc0066;">financedirector@ernestines.ca</span></a> , 416-743-1733
ext 2010 or Chevaunise Toney, <a href="mailto:adminassistant@ernestines.ca"><span style="color: #cc0066;">adminassistant@ernestines.ca</span></a>, 416-743-1733 ext
2011.</div>
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<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-53623687364503023582012-04-13T14:45:00.000-04:002012-04-13T14:45:18.105-04:00Experiencing GreatnessIt has come to my realization that people in general feel that they must have the material things in order to be accepted as individuals. There are so many people out there that are far greater than they give themselves credit for. What they need to remember is that they are not what they have is what they hold inside that matters most. Although it is true that you need those material things in order to just be, however once the spirit is broken nothing will replace it yet the material things can be bought again and again.<br />
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I remember when I came to Canada with $50 in my pocket between my sister and I and although I have failed a few times since, I rose again and again. I give that credit to the people around me as they have lifted me and helped me see my strengths and greatness in me.My last failure was picking the bad apple to be my life partner where in return he left me broke and having to live in a shelter with my two children. There are days I still feel broken and I still resent myself for not being able to see what he was about <i>before</i> it went the wrong route. Live and learn some might say, yet I feel that I need to take the blame and move on. I certainly do not want to have to go thorough the same situation again so I fight daily to go forward. It is not easy to be in a battle with life the way I am yet I feel that I have also accomplished a lot since. Three years ago I was so unhappy and crying daily not knowing what is going to happen to me and my children. The anniversary of when it all became "reality" and saw what the other person was capable of is around the corner. I have bitter sweet feeling towards it. I celebrated last year by going out to dinner on my own and reflecting on what I have become and where do I want to go. As it was stated in the movie <a href="http://antwonefisher.net/" target="_blank">"Antoine Fisher"</a> I say to myself at times: <i><b>"I'm still standing! I'm still strong!"</b></i> Truth of the matter is that I am strong and that my life experiences, however bad they were, did not prevent me from being me. Yes, I have fears and I am scared! Yes, I feel that things should've been different today should I have not made bad decisions! Yet, it is the past that crafted me to the woman and mother that I am today!<br />
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I am living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that life doesn't end when crisis arises, it only shifted me in a different direction and many times over it was teaching me a lesson.<br />
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Watching the video below it prompted me to see that I am not the only one who have been slapped by life and many other people have had it worst than me. I am sure you can relate.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/tZ46Ot4_lLo/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tZ46Ot4_lLo&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tZ46Ot4_lLo&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Remember: You're still standing! You're still strong! </b></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com2Toronto, ON, Canada43.653226 -79.38318429999998243.5160395 -79.644697299999976 43.790412499999995 -79.121671299999988tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-72268926936186048842012-02-22T15:51:00.005-05:002012-02-23T21:54:58.140-05:00Shimider Fistula: Obstructed Labour<div style="text-align: left;"></div><div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9uEgl_qXm8o/T0b7oY7IQXI/AAAAAAAAApg/3JNF3ALcCio/s1600/073.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9uEgl_qXm8o/T0b7oY7IQXI/AAAAAAAAApg/3JNF3ALcCio/s320/073.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Habiba Cooper Diallo at the Word On The Street 2011 </td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">In honor of Black History Month I am going to write a book review written by a young aspiring writer Habiba Cooper Diallo. At the age 15 Habiba has traveled around the world a few times and her love for her ancestors is remarkable. </span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">The book in review, <span style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Shimider Fistula: Obstructed Labour, </i>written by Habiba Cooper originally started as an 8th grade short story writing assignment. When speaking with Habiba about inspired her to write such story, this is what she had to say:</span></span></span></div><div><span style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div><span style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Obstetric fistula is a childbirth driven illness that results from an obstructed labour. The physical effects it has on the mother includes incontinence, genital ulceration, nerve damage and infections that can ultimately result in death if not treated. The baby is almost always still born due to lack of oxygen during labour. Fistula also has many extreme social and psychological implications. Most women affected by it are ostracized and abandoned by their communities due to the sever conditions it leaves them in, notably incontinence. This gives rise to psychological issues and many women resort to suicide. However, what is most disheartening about it all is that obstetric fistula is a completely preventative illness. The women who are fistula patients lack adequate health care facilities. I was inspired to become an advocate for the issue about 4 years ago when I read an article about a young girl, Anafghat Ayouba, who suffered an obstetric fistula . Her story was very heart-rending this today I am passionate about creating public awareness about the issue to see the eradication of fistula. </span></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></span></i></blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></blockquote><span style="font-size: large;">Habiba has been speaking on this issue through her soon to be released book during the <a href="http://allevents.in/University%20Park/Habiba-Cooper-Diallo-Reads,-Word-On-The-Street:-Open-Mic-Hour-2011/218295151563350" target="_blank"><i><b>Word On The Street 2011 Festival </b></i> </a>. She captured the audience while reading her story with a great passion for this issue. The story is based in Ethiopia and it describes the journey of a woman who is pregnant and, while accompanied by two youngens, a boy and a girl, she is finally making it to the hospital to deliver the baby who has died on the way before she got the chance to give birth. Although the woman has a great chance at attaining medical attention for her obstetric fistula which she acquired through her painful labour, many women from these part of the world are not aware of the medical attention that they can receive to prevent and treat obstetric fistula. Generally women live in shame and segregated by the other citizen often living with a stigma of shame. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The fact that someone as young as Habiba, a 15 years old, had taken upon herself to talk about this issue so openly it is a reason to admire today's youth. I hope to see a change and I am confident that her book will create the awareness needed for us to talk about this issue that women in under developed countries are facing in today's society. Please stay tuned for the upcoming book. Details to follow. Until then, if you would like to know more about fistula you can check out this link from <i><b><a href="http://www.fistulafoundation.org/whatisfistula/faqs.html" target="_blank">The Fistula Foundation</a>.</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you are wondering why I used this topic to talk about for the Black History Month well, here is why:</span><br />
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<ul><li><span style="font-size: large;">Habiba is a very involved African/Caribbean/Canadian youth in the issues pertaining not only to fistula but to the Black history in general.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Fistula is an issue predominantly taking place in sun-Saharan Africa and Asia.</span></li>
</ul><div><span style="font-size: large;">D. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Segoe, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com2Toronto, ON, Canada43.653226 -79.38318429999998243.5160395 -79.644697299999976 43.790412499999995 -79.121671299999988tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-12295494627991472802012-01-22T12:14:00.001-05:002012-01-24T01:41:32.739-05:00Experiencing Communication<div><p>When two or more people are involved in a conversation be it for personal or business purpose, communication is a crucial part of the experience. </p>
<p>In my opinion there is no effective way or tool on how to communicate if we cannot express ourselves by seeing what the others are seeing. When we become aware and understand others around us only then will we be able to communicate effectively. Two people can look at the same thing and see two different things. We cannot control what they see but we can try to understand what is it that they see and why. Not only will this procedure be more effective in understanding others but it will also enable us in producing results based communication. </p>
<p>Another reason why communication is a major part in our daily lives is to set up ground rules that we live by with respect to ourselves and others around us. When we communicate our desires and wants to the world we teach people how to treat us. It is up to us to send the message on how we want to be treated and therefore how we treat the ones around us. When we set up rules and also set up consequences and rewards for each rule that is when we learn our value and teach others about it as well. This part of communication by which we live it is a crucial part as we learn about ourselves and others along the way. It may take a life time to learn this part of communication, yet starting is the key because if we never have a starting point we will never be able to communicate effectively be it professionally or on a personal level. </p>
<p>What is your form of communication? Hey, sharing is caring so please feel free to 'communicate' on here. </p>
<p>D. </p>
<br/><img src='http://lh6.ggpht.com/-wNXFdWaGhPc/TxxU4KcJp_I/AAAAAAAAAkA/wpfcOWj5bPU/11.png' /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-42704716939293754042011-12-28T20:35:00.000-05:002011-12-28T20:35:21.017-05:00New Year's Resolutions2012 is almost here and so are the new year's resolutions that most people make and only few keep. Why is it so hard to keep them? Why set resolutions if there are no intentions on keeping them?<br />
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Personally I make resolutions each year and I keep it simple: I want to be a better person than I was the previous year. Sounds simple, right? Let me put it in perspective. To be a better person for me means that I have to be a better mother, a better daughter, a better sister, a better mate, a better friend and a better business person. Now that sounds like a lot, doesn't it? It is but it's not impossible. This year I have a plan to make it all work...I will avoid all the unnecessary things and people, in other words: Prioritize!<br />
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I have decided to create a vision board to see where my future will take me ahead of time. I will not have only one but multiple boards. One of them will be created with my children to make sure they will understand where we are all going in life. One of my long time goals is to provide my children with opportunities I never had before. I want to make sure they understand what success is and what it means to fall through the cracks sometimes because what it really comes down to is how we get up after we fall that makes us who we are. Therefore, my priority this year, just like few years that past, is to become a better person, not only for me but for the people in my life!<br />
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What are your priorities for 2012?<br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com2Toronto, ON, Canada43.653226 -79.38318429999998243.5160395 -79.644697299999976 43.790412499999995 -79.121671299999988tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-40071931608759881252011-12-10T12:47:00.001-05:002011-12-10T12:52:02.087-05:00New Year ~ New Opportunities<div><p>Holidays are here and the new year is just around the corner. I'm really excited about what the new year is going to bring, most importantly what I have planned for myself: </p>
<p>* New Opportunities <br>
* New Ventures<br>
* New collaborations </p>
<p>Yes, that excites me about the new year. What excites you? What plans do you have for the new year? </p>
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com1Sunnyside Park, Swansea43.63696 -79.458084tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-21683005862409582612011-12-06T09:32:00.001-05:002011-12-06T10:54:30.870-05:00December 6th~What It Means To Me<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Guest blogger Stephanie Titus-Andrews, Professional Trainer and Life Coach from <a href="http://www.createdtoexcel.ca/my-blog" target="_blank">Created to Excel</a>. </blockquote>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">December 6th is a solemn day in Canada.
Today, I pay homage to that day, and recount how it has affected my
life. My name is Stephanie, and I am a
Victor over abuse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">We remember December
6th, 1989, because of a deranged man.
This man snuffed out the lives of fourteen innocent women. That morning, those women and their families
woke up and went through their normal routine.
They went to work, went to school or maybe stayed home, thinking that
nothing out of the ordinary would happen that day. But they were very wrong. The mothers and fathers of those women never
saw their baby girls again. Some others lost
a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend.
They never got a chance to hug, kiss or say goodbye to their loved-one
ever again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">Ironically, I got
married that same year. I did not even
think about that until recently, as I was gathering facts for this blog. I entered my years of torture just as these
young women's torture was coming to an end.
The only difference was that no one knew my torture was as bad as it
was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">What makes one person
cross the line from anger to abuse? We
all get angry at some point in time. By
stating that fact, I, by no means, say that I am a saint in this category. However, some people cross the line and
really hurt other people while they are angry, either with words, their body,
weapons, or all three. And, although
most people don't think about it, the damage done by words can be just as deadly
as if a knife or a gun was used.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">For many years, I had
the weapon of words used against me.
Some people may say, "Why didn't you just stand up for
yourself"? If your self-esteem is
non-existent in the first place, then it is very hard to stand up for
yourself. Combine that with my faith beliefs
that a woman is to listen to her husband, then you have a potent-abuse
cocktail.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">For 23 years, I endured
put-downs, criticism and jokes made at my expense. Angry outbursts came and went without
warning. I mastered the art of crying
into my pillow at night without being heard. Most people don't know that there
is a "system" that abusers follow.
First there is a trigger event.
Nothing could have been wrong previously, it just happens when you least
expect it. Next, there is the
flare-up. The abuser will lash out with
words, weapons, or both. However, it is
usually only at the female partner, and sometimes the children. Finally, there is the honeymoon stage. This is where the abuser will become
repentant--but with a twist. They might
say things like, "I'm sorry Sweetie, but you just make me so angry!" Or, "If you'd just do this or that, I
wouldn't get so angry all the time."
In other words, they are not sorry at all. They are just looking to blame someone
else. The honeymoon stage may last for
hours or years. My
"honeymoons" lasted for weeks, months and years. Towards the end, it was lasting for
hours. As a result of the honeymoon
stage, some women think, "It's not so bad.
Maybe I was just overreacting!"
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">Generally, the main
reason that a woman stays in an abusive relationship is money. She does not believe that she can make it on
her own. I was no exception to this
rule. When I tried to further my
education to make more money, I was badgered about spending time away from the
family. When I didn't work, I was
lazy. If I worked, I was negligent. I couldn't win for losing! As a result of going in and out of the job
market, I never really advanced financially.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">But, there comes a time
when you either resign yourself to the fact that this is your plot in life
(usually when you are older), or you say, "Enough is enough!" After two attempts at leaving, including one
shelter stay, I decided that I had had enough!
I did not have a lot of finances by any means, but I was determined that
I was not going to put up with being put-down any more. Surely, the God that I served had a bigger
plan for my life!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">After I left for the
final time, I stayed in a shelter far
from where I had previously lived.
Although it was hard having two people stay in an 8'X10' room, I was
thankful for the peace of mind. My
youngest daughter stayed with me, and we prayed for her two older
siblings. We also prayed for a specific
type of place for us all to stay together.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">When I was ready to
move on my own, December 6 touched my life once more. Somewhere, someone thought that it would be
great to start a fund for Greater Toronto Area women who were victims of
abuse. As a tribute to the women who
died unnecessariIy, it was named the December 6 Fund. The helpful counsellors at the shelter
assured me that I met the Fund criteria.
After assisting me with the application process, I was able to benefit
from the December 6 Fund. This Fund is a
non-interest bearing loan that women can pay back in small amounts, allowing
them to get back on their feet. I have
further benefited at Christmas with gifts and gift cards to help my family and
myself. There is probably something in
every room of my home that I have gotten with the assistance of the December 6
Fund. I can truly say that, without this
help, I would not be as far as I am on my
road to independence. It was not
just a handout, it was a hand up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">My prayer is that you
see the problem of Violence Against Women, and help in some small way. Abuse is not just physical. There is also emotional, mental, financial,
and even spiritual abuse. There is
probably someone in your life that you can think of who is living in an abusive
situation. These women need anchors.
They need to know that someone will be there for them when they are
ready to leave. They may need financial
help, or a place to stay. But most of
all, they will need emotional support and a shoulder to cry on when they finally
decide to leave. Don't give up on this
friend or relative. If you are a person
of faith, pray! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">The abusive
relationship is a very complex one. Be
an enlightened person and read up on abusive relationships. Some books are listed at the bottom of this
blog. I did not have people in my life
that knew about my situation. This made
it even harder to leave. That is typical
of an abusive relationship. However, you
can be atypical. Make a difference in
the life of a woman who is screaming on the inside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">Although innocent lives
were lost on December 6th, 1989, a good Cause came out of that tragedy. (I am in no way minimizing the fact that
fourteen women died unnecessarily.) I am
now using my life to Coach women who are going through divorce, especially if
there was some sort of abuse in the relationship. I want to help these women to live empowered
lives. My goal is to show them how to forgive the people who hurled rocks at
them, even if the intent was to do damage.
By analyzing, forgiving, and moving on, these abused women can move from
being victims to Vibrant Victors! If I
help just one woman, I have achieved my goal!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">Stephanie Titus-Andrews<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">Recovery Coach, Speaker, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">Author of 156 Days to Freedom<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">(Soon-to-be-released)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.amazon.ca/Does-Inside-Minds-Angry-Controlling/dp/0425191656" target="_blank">Why Does He Do That?</a>, by <b>Lundy Bancroft</b> (A former domestic
violence cop)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.patriciaevans.com/book1.html" target="_blank">The Verbally Abusive Relationship</a>, by <b>Patricia Evans<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.nottopeoplelikeus.com/" target="_blank">Not To People Like Us</a>, by <b>Dr. Susan Weitzman</b> (upscale abuse)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"><a href="http://preventabusiverelationships.com/">Preventabusiverelationships.com</a>, <b>Dr. Jeanne King<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"><a href="http://shrink4men.com/">Shrink4men.com</a>, <b>Dr. Tara J. Palmatier</b> (for <b><i>men</i></b> in
abusive relationships)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;">Please check out the following exhaustive <a href="http://www.cdh.org/medical-services/services-A-Z/emergency/domestic-abuse/abusive-behavior-checklist.aspx" target="_blank">Abusive Relationship Checklist</a>. It is American, but is by far one of the most
in-depth ones that I have encountered. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'URW Gothic L', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Stephanie is a great coach to women and men providing support when escaping an abusive relationships. She provides a monthly FREE call on a variety of related topics in addition to empowering workshops. For more information or to get in touch with her for an anonymous consultation please check out her website at <a href="http://www.createdtoexcel.ca/calls-workshops" target="_blank">CreatedToExcel.ca </a> </blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
If you would like to support women and their children escaping abuse please visit <a href="http://www.ernestines.ca/">www.ernestines.ca</a> to support the <a href="http://www.ernestines.ca/take-action/fundraising/10-great-men" target="_blank">10 Great Men Campaign</a> which will end on December 10. </blockquote>
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-55930015679417051472011-12-01T19:22:00.001-05:002011-12-08T17:07:25.388-05:00Posting from my phone<div>
I love technology, don't you? I can do this on the go. My thought will be posted instantly and not wait until I get in front of a pc. <br />
This picture has nothing to do with the content of this post yet it kind of fits. <br />
XOXO <br />
<br />
<br />
<img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-YM54-ePLKag/TtgaR7-Y2cI/AAAAAAAAAjM/xvzlX-VflSQ/IMAG0239.png" /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-49992677975592203702011-11-24T10:12:00.001-05:002011-11-24T23:19:18.279-05:00You Lucky Bird Holiday Shopping for Fashionistas With Great Taste!<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_3AyO2uADrI/Ts5e3ZfIeVI/AAAAAAAAAjE/J6EnwBevjNk/s1600/shoppinginvite.1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_3AyO2uADrI/Ts5e3ZfIeVI/AAAAAAAAAjE/J6EnwBevjNk/s320/shoppinginvite.1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<h1 style="color: #505050; font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #990000;"><br /></span></h1>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #990000;">Our 1st Holiday Pop-Up is Here!</span></h1>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">From Friday November 25 to Sunday November 27th, YouLuckyBird will host our first holiday pop-up shop. Come out and get your vintage fix with our curated selection of sweaters, coats and dresses galore! If you're a size 8-18, this will be the ONLY place where you'll find vintage from the 60's, 70's and 80's that fits and looks fabulous.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 28px; text-align: left;"><strong style="background-image: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #990000;"><br />Grab a Drink and Chill </span></h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">To mix things up, we'll be inside JangBang, one of the coolest bar east of Bathurst. Come out, grab a drink and shop till you drop. We'll have music (no cheesy carols here) spinning and the eggnog flowing. </span><br style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;" /><br style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;" /><strong style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;"><em>YOULUCKYBIRD SHOPPING PARTY</em></strong><br style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;" /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">When? NOVEMBER 25 - 27TH<br />Where? JANG BANG<br />Address? 430.5 COLLEGE STREET (E. of Bathurst on the north side)</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #990000;">See You This Weekend!</span></h3><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-85954278291619672442011-09-27T14:29:00.000-04:002011-09-27T14:30:58.546-04:00Self Imaging Therapy ~ What is it?<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Renew, Rejuvenate, and Reclaim Your Strength, Power and Worth</b> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Self-Imaging Therapy™ is a fresh and exciting new approach to psychotherapy that Dr. Nicola Bird pioneered.This approach:
</span></div>
<ul style="text-align: center;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Liberates you from blocks and transforms you in every session.
</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: center;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Empowers and opens you up to a world of renewal and possibilities and personal empowerment.
</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: center;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Clears away the mental clutter that holds you back.
</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: center;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Provides you with the skills to create calm, joy and fulfillment in your life.
</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: center;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Rejuvenates and restores you to wholeness. </span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Self-Imaging Therapy works because self-images are a powerful and helpful tool for creating self-awareness, healing and change. The mind and body don`t know the difference between a real experience and an imagined one. If you vividly imagine yourself eating a juicy fruit (e.g. mango or peach), you will salivate in the same way as you would if you were actually eating it. In the same way, your mind will register and encode the self-image transformations that you experience through the Self-Imaging Therapy process as "real". More peaceful, confident and positive self-images are developed to transform you every time. Suddenly your mind and heart open up to the positive world you always wanted to have. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Dr. Bird expertly guides you throughout the process. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Self-Imaging Therapy: Unveil Your Brilliance
"Self-Imaging Therapy is food for the soul. It reconnects you with your whole being. It teaches you how to transform your problems. There is a true healing of wounded parts. It is like emotional Homeopathy”
-M. Bollinger, Homeopathic Doctor</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Yes, it's really true: you do have the power to change your life for the
better.
For the <i><a href="http://guestlistapp.com/events/71949">next event</a> </i>we will cover how will Self-Imaging Therapy benefits
your business and how viewing yourself makes a difference in your life
therefore help you succeed in business world. Having control, power and
tools in dealing with uncertainties will help create a boundary to
fears. For more information on Dr. Nicola Bird's work please refer to her <a href="http://www.drnicolabird.com/"><i>website</i>. </a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Be good to yourself! </span></div>
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</div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com01610 Bloor St W, Toronto, ON M6P 1A6, Canada43.6558474 -79.455349843.6544114 -79.457817299999988 43.6572834 -79.4528823tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-66408681349675471622011-09-20T14:39:00.000-04:002011-09-20T14:39:39.918-04:00Because together we CAN change the world!<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr align="center"><td><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n9EZSzihMlo/TnPJ0nh-EsI/AAAAAAAAKEE/DuDDlk4WtCY/s1600/Lenssen-Fiechtner-05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n9EZSzihMlo/TnPJ0nh-EsI/AAAAAAAAKEE/DuDDlk4WtCY/s640/Lenssen-Fiechtner-05.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr align="right"><td class="tr-caption"><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: small;">Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from <a href="http://www.seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5of5%20%20">#Ask5for5</a></span><br /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Family photos by <a href="http://www.mikefiechtner.com/">Mike Fiechtner Photography</a></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span><br /><br />
<br /><br />
Thank you <insert blog="" name=""> <insert blog="" name=""> Doina's Life Experiences and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.</insert></insert><br /><br />
<br /><br />
A hungry child in East Africa can't wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide <i>if</i> we'll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the road before they find help in refugee camps. <span class="yiv1663119270Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><br /><br />
<br /><br />
At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren't so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world's first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.<br /><br />
<br /><br />
The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond--or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity's baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don't do anything at all. <br /><br />
<br /><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N7JxhCcT_jg/TnPLbKHhdoI/AAAAAAAAKEM/b89yNMqPCko/s1600/Lenssen-Fiechtner-03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="425" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N7JxhCcT_jg/TnPLbKHhdoI/AAAAAAAAKEM/b89yNMqPCko/s640/Lenssen-Fiechtner-03.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn't want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do <i>something</i> if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for <i>our</i> hungry child. But would you do something for another mother's hungry child?<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7UvFdmHOUSM/TnPiLV-gaMI/AAAAAAAAKEY/Q1LrULN5sEw/s1600/D200-0442-132-wm+web.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7UvFdmHOUSM/TnPiLV-gaMI/AAAAAAAAKEY/Q1LrULN5sEw/s640/D200-0442-132-wm+web.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br />
My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya--the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, "I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm." The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. "We don't have enough food now...our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues."<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iNuh_OJIYRw/TnPjFN5LTlI/AAAAAAAAKEc/5UXCBqTV7qY/s1600/D200-0442-64-wm2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iNuh_OJIYRw/TnPjFN5LTlI/AAAAAAAAKEc/5UXCBqTV7qY/s640/D200-0442-64-wm2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br />
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Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? <a href="http://www.seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5">Ask5for5</a> is a dream built upon the belief that you will. <br /><br />
<br /><br />
That <i>something</i> I knew I would need to do became a campaign called <a href="http://www.seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5">#Ask5for5</a> to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on--in nine generations of 5x5x5...we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at <a href="http://www.seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5">See Your Impact</a> and 100% of the funds will go to <a href="http://www2.worldvision.org/?&r=t">World Vision</a>, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations<b> can multiply up to 5 times in impact </b>by government grants<b> </b>to<br />
help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support, <br />
healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.<br /><br />
<br /><br />
I need <b>you</b> to help me save lives.<i> It's so so simple;</i> here's what you need to do:<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<ol><li>Donate $5 or more on <a href="http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5/">this page</a> (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)</li>
<li><b>Send an email</b> to your friends and ask them to join us.</li>
<li>Share <a href="http://www.seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5">#Ask5for5</a> on Facebook and Twitter!</li>
</ol>I'm looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you're interested in participating this week. <br /><br />
<br /><br />
A hungry child doesn't wait. She doesn't wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn't wait for us to decide if she's important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on...please respond now and help save her life. <a href="http://www.seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5">Ask 5 for 5</a>.<br /><br />
<br /><br />
Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped--you are saving lives and changing history.<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
p.s. Please don't move on to the next website before you <a href="http://www.seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5">donate</a> and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you're life is busy like mine, you probably won't get back to it later. Let's not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let's leave a legacy of compassion. <u>You have the opportunity to <a href="http://www.seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5">save a life today</a></u>!<br /><br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-59408236555857102392011-07-23T11:54:00.001-04:002011-07-23T11:55:24.955-04:00Experiencing "Different"The other day I was in the subway station rushing to make it on time for an appointment. From a distance I noticed how there was a woman asking for directions left, right and center. Everyone she would ask would reply with an<i> "I don't know!"</i>. By the time the subway came she asked about five people for directions and how she should go about reaching her destination. As the subway approached the station everyone started to ignore her and were rushing to get in while moving on with their lives. The woman asking for directions got frustrated and started screaming at everyone, me included, that how come no one is willing to take the time to show her the way. By that time the subway doors were closing and she was left in agony at the subway stop. Slowly slowly she would become smaller and smaller but her pain was still immense as she was standing there with her hands holding her face and she was probably crying. I felt responsible and she was on my mind after that. I took the subway back to see if she was still there asking for help. She wasn't there anymore. She vanished into the unknown.<br />
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I am still thinking of this woman and how difficult must have been for her. Her English wasn't all that good either. I remember when I came to Canada seventeen years ago and how tough it was for me too. I didn't understand what people were saying and that was frustrating enough. I was isolated because I was somewhat afraid of getting lost in the unknown. How would I be able to get home after that? It was scary!<br />
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As a society we have become so isolated into our own worlds that we fail to take the time to lend a helping hand to strangers. Media had made us believe that everyone is bad and all of that just made us feel more isolated. We fail to think that that lost person could be us someday. Just imagine being in a place where the language and people are unfamiliar. How difficult it could be! How scary! If we just try to put ourselves in other people's shoes we realize that helping someone could also mean that we help ourselves. We gain a lot more from helping others rather than ignoring opportunities of supporting each other. The world will be a better place if we take the time to show compassion. It will be returned to us in more ways than we can possibly think of.<br />
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I encourage everyone to take the time to help at least one person that asks for help. Analyze how it feels. Do not look at reward from that same person as they might pay it forward to someone else, do it just because you are training yourself in the art of helping others. After some time stop and look at how much you gained out of this experience. You might be surprised to find out that you have also receive help from someone else and it felt good. Do it! Just Do It!<br />
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Practice Love!<br />
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D.<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com2Toronto, ON, Canada43.653524 -79.383906943.4549435 -79.7022759 43.852104499999996 -79.0655379tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-35771498706616019782011-06-02T13:56:00.002-04:002011-07-20T01:15:23.539-04:00Experiencing dating<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Not too long ago I was in the bank waiting patiently in line even though I was anxious to go home. As I was standing there waiting a young man came behind me in the line as well. Shortly after, a friend of his happened to come in line too. I didn't mean to eaves drop but they were loud enough and I am not sure they were mindful of it either. Nevertheless, the topic of their love life came up. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">The '<i>friend</i>' asked the '<i>young man</i>' about his girlfriend and if they are still together - apparently these friends haven't seen each other for years. The '<i>young man</i>' replied that yes, in fact him and the girlfriend are still together and they are living together now. He didn't hesitate to follow stating that his girlfriend is actually a</span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">really good girl.</span></i><i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">My thoughts started to run wild thinking of what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a good girl</i> would</span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">be like? The 'young man' probably read my mind that my curiosity was climbing through the roof, even though he couldn't see my face, he immediately followed stating that</span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"She's a really good girl, she cleans, cooks, does laundry and pays the bills”. </span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I couldn't help it, I turned around and gave him a stare: <b><i>REALLY</i></b>? There was silence. Shortly after my turn to do my banking came along and I went about my business. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I couldn't take my mind off of this incident since. I personally haven't been dating for a while, my choice. I decided to figure out what is it that I want from life but most importantly from myself. I had made a decision to become self employed and that takes discipline and sometimes I have to make sacrifices including dating or lack of it. For the last little while I have noticed how some of my friends, gotta love them, are suggesting that they know of someone that would be suitable for me. Hmmm Do I want to be set up with someone in this way? To answer for short: NO! So I took the matter into my own hands and decided to be open to invitations from men that are approaching me in a respectful manner and the ones which I had thought were cute (I will be honest, the first impressions are still the looks of a man followed by the brains). This dating experience had been quite different to say the least. Men were having high standards from a woman yet they didn't have them high enough from themselves. There were many issues that came up; some of them were quite entertaining:<o:p></o:p></span></div><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; line-height: normal; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Who is going to pick up the bill<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Men have this idea that when taking a woman on a date there has to be this 'equality' going on. I agree, equality has to take place so that it will all be fair for both parties. Depending of the stage of the relationship there are different standards of who pays for what and what equality means to that particular couple. I personally like to pay for my share when I go out on a first date. This gesture gives me the upper hand to make the decision of going on a second date or not. Later in the relationship, if there is to be one, things will have to be shared equal so if I cook, clean and do his laundry therefore he should pick up the bill when we go out and make sure we go out on a regular basis. Does that make me materialistic? <o:p></o:p></span></div><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; line-height: normal; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Past relationships<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Whatever happened in the past it is better left there. In my opinion, if people believe that everyone is the same as their ex no one will be dating again unless they had separated in good terms, a healthy version of a bad break up. The past teaches us to know what to look for in our future partners and not necessarily put them in the same basket. A simple fact: if you do not want your future partners to put you in the same basket as their exes, you set the bar high yourself and place your future partners where you would like to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Income<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">This issue is quite delicate. If you do not want your income disclosed on the first date do not ask the other person how much do they make a year, a month or by hour! Why the need to know? If you do not like someone to start with, their income is not going to make them more attractive, will it? <o:p></o:p></span></div><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo4; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Friends <o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Tell me who your friends are and I tell you who you are". Really? So if my friends chose to live their life a certain way that makes me them? To a certain degree I do agree with this concept, hence why I 'recycle' my friend's list once in a while. I do agree with the fact that some friends can be like glue and quite poisonous but pick your battles as to who you are going to get rid of. And if the 'date' sets standards for whom your friends should be, I do not recommend a second date, s/he already is controlling. <o:p></o:p></span></div><ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; line-height: normal; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo5; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Children<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">A lot of men out there expect to be 'involved' in the life of a woman's children. They just need to relax. Just because I have children and we are on a date this doesn't make you their father. I do not mind to have someone included in the upbringing of my children if that someone is a big part of my life and we both have the same standards and values when it comes to raising children. But please refrain from telling a woman how to raise her children because any woman with a head on her shoulder will tell you this: She makes the ultimate decision how to raise her children since she is the one responsible for their outcome. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Overall I realized that going back to the dating game is hard and if the effort is not spent by both parties it will never go beyond the first few dates. I am not an expert nor do I want you to think I am one, but I like to choose common sense pertaining to my lifestyle when it comes to this issue. In anticipation of having to go there again I will be going back to my work. Hopefully we will meet at some point! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Choose safe dating! <o:p></o:p></span></div></div><br />
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</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-74306997109336039902011-04-30T14:53:00.003-04:002011-05-08T19:34:42.503-04:00Sage Tyrtle's interviewSocial Media had allowed me to be creative and also to have a voice. There are different ways in which I engage with the world and besides this blog I use <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/DoinaOncel">Twitter</a> and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/doina.oncel">Facebook</a> to name a few.<br />
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On <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://doinaoncel.blogspot.com/2011/02/in-news.html">February 19 </a> </span>I wrote a blog entry about Romania. Little did I know that people actually read my blog and that there is an interest in my life's experiences. Shortly after the blog entry was posted I had received a friendly email from a woman, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://quirkynomads.com/">Sage Tyrtle</a>,</span> asking me if I am interested in being interviewed regarding my experiences in Romania.While reading the email my heart started pounding with joy and disbelief . For a second I thought she was mistaking me with someone else. Could this really be? I pulled myself together and I started to believe it. Yes, it really was happening. I had asked the Universe for many things and when I stopped asking I received more than I expected. I am deeply thankful to the woman that had made all of this possible, <a href="http://quirkynomads.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sage Tyrtle</span></a> .<br />
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Check out the link below for the interview. Please do comment but if you remain speechless I understand!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://quirkynomads.com/2011/03/25/romania/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Sage Tyrtle interviewed me on Romania </b></span></a></div><br />
Love,<br />
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D.<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-83836832400184522162011-04-16T23:03:00.002-04:002011-04-16T23:15:42.569-04:00Experiencing a better LifestyleI always brag about changing my life and the truth is I find it quite hard to do it at times.<br />
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I find myself to be quite the multitasker and when it comes to my own needs, I rarely follow up. I do work quite hard and being a single parent of two very small children it does have it's challenges. Although this should be of no excuse, my children ought to be more of an incentive where I become their role model to a better, healthier life.<br />
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I realized lately that I feel over stressed. I yell at everyone because of the littlest things and my patience level is running on minimum. I try to discipline (for lack of a better word) my children and when I come up with a grounding solution it seems that it is easier, at that moment, to just let it go only because I can't stand the thought of having to raise my voice at my children once again. Yes, life would've been easier if I were to have the support needed or if I were to live in a society where we would all understand that <a href="http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/07/31/it-takes-a-village-to-raise-a-child/">It takes a village to raise a child</a> , literally. I sometimes feel that everyone around me has very high expectations of me and if I ever dare to fall through the cracks once the same people seem to be quite happy to throw an "I told you so" expression in my face. And if it isn't the good old fashion "I told you so" I get the classic "Your children, not mine". Don't even get me started on the sperm donors because that's a whole other blog entry.<br />
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So how can I be everything to everyone? It is simple. I will not!<br />
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My life changing experience starts NOW and the solution is simple. I will follow the blog entries of <a href="http://www.coverground.ca/">Coverground.ca</a> to help me in making the lifestyle changes I need to help me better my life. In addition, I will make a commitment to exercise my favorite <a href="http://pilates.about.com/od/pilatesmat/ss/QuickTone.htm">workout </a> at least three times a week to start with, which will also help me rid of stress. <a href="http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guide-aliment/index-eng.php">Nutrition</a> will also be a big part of this transformation helping me to a healthier success where I will start by eliminating the toxic food and replacing it with healthier alternatives. And to make it more official, follow my blog to make sure I keep my word and to give me a push if and when I need it.<br />
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Cheers.<br />
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D.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.coverground.ca/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="65" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1HaPMnSnE5M/TapZmEiDUKI/AAAAAAAAAf0/tf4MiPRARPM/s200/CG-logo-cheetah.jpg" width="200" /></a><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YdRo7YGSYjQ/TapaI6YArXI/AAAAAAAAAf4/qqfH5MqOA0M/s1600/bottom_foodguide.gif" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-55121969021447871702011-04-09T18:33:00.000-04:002011-04-09T18:33:46.651-04:00#usguysEH TweetupYesterday I had one of the most amazing experiences I had encounter in along time: I had a last minute invitation to the tweetup event with the <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/search/%23usguysEh">#usguyseh</a> team.<br />
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Although I have seen tweets on <a href="http://twitter.com/">Twitter </a> from people I have never met before in person regarding the <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/search/%23usguys">#usguys </a> tweets, I am not usualy the one to jump into a conversation uninvited.<br />
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Let me share with you how it all happened. I was on my way to a networking meeting that I had signed up for a while ago. As I left my house, walking to the bus stop, I was checking <a href="http://twitter.com/">Twitter </a> on my <a href="http://ca.blackberry.com/smartphones/?CPID=KNC-kw298002_p7&HBX_PK=rim|69cba4f5-6934-63c9-eb1a-0000466d5e4a">Blackberry </a> to see what is happening in Twitter Land. One of the tweets that caught my attention was from wonderful <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/DebWeinstein">@DebWeinstein</a>, the prestigious president from <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/SO_pr">@SO_pr</a> firm. I looked at the tweet stating that someone from the group could not attend last minute and there was a Free spot available for the first person to DM the interest request. My mind and my heart was telling me that this is such a great opportunity and to give it a try. I did manage to send a DM to <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/debweinstein">@DebWeinstein</a> and to my surprise she answered back with a few details about the event. Ultimately it was confirmed: I was the lucky opportunist to attend the big event. I have been to many events similar to this where people from the same line of work get together to share experiences, however the uniqueness of this event is that the majority of people in that room started a virtual acquittance that led up to the yesterday's event. To meet people virtually and to always wonder what would they be like in real life, is now something of the past. The internet had given us the opportunity to interact and connect globally and that is why I love <a href="http://twitter.com/">Twitter </a>. Although <a href="http://www.facebook.com/">Facebook</a> is great Social Media tool, I believe that <a href="http://twitter.com/">Twitter </a> is a better tool to access information and to connect with great people at the same time even though there are only 140 characters allowed to be used per tweet. Many things are said in fewer words and more information is spread when less is said. After all less IS more.<br />
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Here is a list with just a few of the people that I have met at the <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/search/%23usguysEh">#usguysEh</a> tweetup:<br />
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<ul><li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/DebWeinstein">@DebWeinstein</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/sadiethefoodie">@sadiethefoodie</a> </li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/samfiorella">@samfiorella</a> </li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/RLavigne42">@RLavigne42</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/jinner13">@jinner13</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/jackinessity">@jackinessity</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/Josepf">@Josepf</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/peterfromottawa">@peterfromottawa</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/martinwaxman">@martinwaxman</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/josippetrusa">@josippetrusa</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/TheSaaSGuy">@TheSaaSGuy</a></li>
<li><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/karimkanji">@karimkanji</a></li>
</ul><div>And these are just a few of the people that the Universe had allowed me to meet and to be introduced to. Looking forward to connecting with you all again and I am keeping an open mind to the opportunity of meeting more wonderful people such as yourselves in the future. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Love.</div><div><br />
</div><div>D. </div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-71071389074309861152011-04-09T16:50:00.003-04:002011-04-09T17:52:59.698-04:00Experiencing the good life!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-INtYGoYV6I0/TZt7SSGzUjI/AAAAAAAAAeQ/lQNsONwY6Ik/s1600/logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><img border="0" height="67" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-INtYGoYV6I0/TZt7SSGzUjI/AAAAAAAAAeQ/lQNsONwY6Ik/s320/logo.jpg" width="320" /> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; color: black;"></span></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Last Sunday I have decided to provide my oldest daughter with a small taste of the good life! What many people don't understand about my children is that although it seems that they are spoiled, I teach them about life while they are experiencing it. I noticed how my oldest is having a lot of inquiries regarding the "good life" so I decided to take her in for a spin.<br />
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We were already Down Town Toronto so I thought it would be best if her and I would start with an early lunch together, outside of the house. We went to <a href="http://www.sushiinn.net/">Sushi Inn</a> in <a href="http://www.bloor-yorkville.com/">Yorkville</a> so that she can experience food from a different culture (<a href="https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ja.html">Japan</a> ) and most importantly a culture that had been talked about in the media lately due to the tragic Earthquake and Tsunami. As soon as the waiter came with the food at our table (and no, she did not have sushi) my daughter wanted to try using the chopsticks, something she is not necessarily good at. It was hilarious to see her trying to manage the two wooden sticks while the rice was practically going back in her plate. We couldn't stop laughing!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-70xnOsXp2Lk/TaDDWwuXTGI/AAAAAAAAAfo/KiFjJSbNnkE/s1600/IMG00023-20110403-1135.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-70xnOsXp2Lk/TaDDWwuXTGI/AAAAAAAAAfo/KiFjJSbNnkE/s200/IMG00023-20110403-1135.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sarah having her miso soup</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pPYWwpAeINc/TaDC3zn7RAI/AAAAAAAAAfg/0Av1tyYcB4c/s1600/IMG00027-20110403-1153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pPYWwpAeINc/TaDC3zn7RAI/AAAAAAAAAfg/0Av1tyYcB4c/s200/IMG00027-20110403-1153.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sarah trying to manage two chop sticks </td></tr>
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<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In the end she decided to use the chopsticks her own way and eventually use a fork. I guess the good life is the life that one makes for her/himself, just as she did. </div><br />
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</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-41248516141428676482011-03-29T22:18:00.002-04:002011-04-09T22:11:32.027-04:00Embracing Life Experiences<div style="text-align: center;">Don't cry because it's over</div><div style="text-align: center;">Smile because it happened </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(I am not entirely sure who said that) </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">First time I heard that was about a year ago, when one of my really good friends now said that to me while it was her last day at work. I was really sad that she was about to leave as she was my life line there. I am definitely happy that my time at the work place I was working at then is long over and believe it or not I am smiling at the whole experience. </div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Think about it, if it wasn't for that work place I would have never had the opportunity to meet her. At the same time I would have never learned about the importance of employee appreciation at work.</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">There are many times in life we go through different experiences. What it is hard to realize, for most of us, is that we are there for a reason and that is to learn, to grow. As we break through these experiences we learn a lot about ourselves and the people around us. In business we learn about who we can trust to be our partners and who we can feel more comfortable working with. In personal life we learn about who we can trust with our everyday lives, our secrets. </div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">With that being said, next time you are in a situation where you feel you have no idea why you are there, start looking for the reason as there is always one. Ask yourself what are you supposed to learn from that experience. There is always something to take away from it although some things are better off left behind. </div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Love.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">D. </div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-7086405946134924212011-03-01T12:45:00.002-05:002011-03-01T12:54:52.523-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/hKUwxXgz2RM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This song is for all the people that feel that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">IT GETS BETTER! STAY STRONG! </div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-49601450353141171452011-02-19T13:07:00.002-05:002011-02-19T13:19:20.202-05:00In the news!<div class="MsoNormal">I have followed the news lately and I was quite happy with the results. I usually do not follow the news broadcast hour as it passes on appalling information and I am not interested in twisted reality. However I have to admit that what has happened in Egypt recently it was and still is good news. </div><div class="MsoNormal">I was taken back a few years when I was back home in Romania and going through a similar scenario. On December 18, 1989 the people’s revolution took place in Romania. I remember the day when it was announced on the radio and as I was hearing the news cast giving us the news about what it was happening at that time I was having mixed feelings as I wasn’t entirely sure if I was allowed to express myself freely. Here is how I grew up, just an insight so that you will know why I was feeling the way I was on that day:<br />
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<ul><li>We were not allowed to vote and if we were voting there was no other choice but the Communist Party;</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>We were not allowed to express how we felt or say out loud what we thought of our rights;</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>Artists, writers, poets, newscasts and any other outspoken people were tortured and killed for speaking their minds and demanding their rights ;</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>School curriculum was washed out to the point that we did not know what our real history was;</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>Religion was practiced at our own risk and if we wanted to be a part of certain careers such as army or medicine for example we were forced to take an oath that that person and all members of the family will not be entering a church or practice religion of any form;</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>Women did not have rights over their own bodies. Any form of contraception was nonexistent and women were forced to have children; it did not matter whether the woman had a planned or unplanned pregnancy. As soon as the doctor would confirm a pregnancy the communist security would come to the residence and check on the woman every month until she will deliver the baby to make sure she would not have an abortion. After the baby was born however, no one cared whether the baby would have the basic necessities to survive not to mention to give them the support to strive.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>Many women were forced to have underground abortions as they could not afford the baby or they might’ve been raped. Because the procedure was not done in a hospital setting many women have died as some of the men that were performing these abortions were not even close to being qualified to being doctors. Some were mechanics. When a woman would have an underground abortion and the things turned for the worst if the doctors realized the reason why she needed assistance she was left to die in the hospital as those were the orders from the communist security. Those incidents were supposed to teach other women a lesson.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>Food was not existent in the stores. Although we had the advantage of appreciating fruits and vegetables that were in season, we couldn’t even buy simple things on a daily basis such as bread, eggs , milk and cheese to name a few. When we were lucky enough to have some of these foods in the stores there were huge line-ups and in some cases a few people died while in the line-ups because they were just too hungry. People became wild and they were walking on everyone to that would stand in their way from feeding their families.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>Clothes and shoes were somewhat of a rarity as well. We would have to know someone that knows someone that knows someone in order to be able to buy regular clothing, nevermind brand names. Most of the times we would wear hand-me-downs from older cousins and/or neighbours. Fortunately we didn’t have the media to make us jealous of what others would have and we couldn’t even get to see up close and personal.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span>I remember growing up my mother telling me how I will get in trouble for asking so many questions. I would always want to understand everything and not just accepting what others would tell me. Yes, I was a rebel from long time but that was a bad thing growing up!</li>
</ul></div><div class="MsoNormal">These here are just a few examples of what went on during the Communist Regime from my memory as a child. My heart sure goes out to the people in Middle East right now and I sure hope they will take the democracy seriously and not become victims of the system again. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Not having the right to speak up/express ourselves in itself is a violation of human rights. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Not having to basic essentials is a violation of human rights.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Peace be with you! </div><div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-73905485077747259122011-02-02T01:18:00.002-05:002011-02-02T01:18:57.893-05:00ReadyI am just going to say this: I am tired..ready to step back..ready to move forward....ready to be me!<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-44188143329787698162011-01-27T13:58:00.000-05:002011-01-27T13:58:29.028-05:00Today I AM!<ul><li>Today I am <strong>thankful</strong> for all that the Universe had granted me. </li>
<li>Today I <strong>feel powerful</strong> because I have allowed my inner self to see ME for who I AM and be grateful for it! </li>
<li>Today, while I look back at mylife, I <strong>am pleased</strong> to say "I have done that!" </li>
<li>Today I feel <strong>peace within my soul</strong> because I know that <strong>I can go as far as I allow myself to go</strong>. There are no boundaries for what I can do and for how much I can accomplish. </li>
<li>Today <strong>I am letting go</strong> of my fears and I am allowing my strenght and powers to take me where I need to be.</li>
<li>Today <strong>I will BE</strong>! </li>
<li>Today <strong>I AM</strong>!</li>
</ul>~ ~ ~ Peace ~ ~ ~<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-87672442863262929572011-01-12T11:00:00.000-05:002011-01-12T11:00:33.881-05:00All grown upYesterday, as I went to pick up my children from the daycare, I had a wake up call: my kids are all grown up! <br />
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My oldest daughter, Sarah, is acting like a little lady and a pre-teen all in one. Yes, she's a package! She wants to have the privilege of being a little lady when it comes to making decisions for her. At the same time she does not know what the best decision to make is. I believe that children her age still need guidance in order to make the best decision. She also is a little hesitant in accepting consequences. She believes that there shouldn't be any! As a parent, I am a firm believer that children should have the option to make their own decisions in SOME cases. There are however situations when she does not have a say in the matter, especially when it comes to her safety. What I hate the most is that some people like to come in and tell me what is the decision for her to make and what is not...that is for ME to decide as I know best especially when it comes to her personality. My only fear is that I may fail at being a good parent. I was watching a show last night and the teenage boy in that show was a good kid and the mother (single mother just like me) was trying the best she could but she still was making mistakes as to the decisions of disciplining she was choosing to follow. Will I know what to do when the time comes fro me to raise a teenager? I guess time will tell! <br />
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My youngest daughter, Maya, had moved from the toddler room to the junior preschool room in the daycare. I went to the toddler room and I am not seeing her there. I ask about her and the care taker tells me that she had not returned for the day when she went visiting the preschool room. A feeling of joy mixed with sadness had filled my heart. Really? Where did the time go? I went to the preschool room and as I am there looking at her enjoying herself I just wish that she will stay the same, but that means I am being selfish. Is it wrong to not want my children to grow up? She is giving me hugs and kisses all the time. She sees me as the center of her world. Would that change as she will grow? May be but I do love my children enough to allow them to grow and not just in age. I know that I will miss the hugs, the kisses, the closeness, the need to have mommy close by and all of that good stuff that I am getting now from my children. Maya is still allowing me to enjoy all the things that a baby is giving their mother although Sarah is all grown up and wanting her independence. What I know for sure that as babies and as grown women my children will bring me the satisfaction of being their mother as they will grow themselves and different stages will show up, sometimes unannounced. <br />
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I love my children; anyone that knows me well enough will know this. I love the fact that they are in my life to allow me to parent them, to teach them and to help them grow. I feel blessed to be able to be a parent, the best one that I know how. I feel blessed to teach my children what I know and be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on and laugh with them when we all share our good memories. <br />
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And the memories together will be the ones that I am blessed to have because I am their mother. <br />
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D.<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-67477689425506428612011-01-05T21:56:00.000-05:002011-01-05T21:56:18.365-05:00Who am I?This thought I have had in my head for a while now and I need to get it out before I SCREAM it out: I don't believe in people having to be judged by the families they were blessed to be born in. What do I mean by that? When people meet each other they often look at the other's family to see if that other person is suitable to become a mate or even a friend. Truth is, I am somewhat offended by this matter. Why? Because there are so many mixes in my family that I don't even know where I fit sometimes.<br />
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On my mother's side of the family I have some great people that have thought me the basics on survival and how to make it in Canada although most of them have never even been in a plane to get here themselves. They provided me with that backbone that everyone must have in order to be great human beings. My mother's side of the family was very close and showed affection towards me growing up. While spending time with them I could be myself and although there was occasional bugging it was never with poor taste. I remember many times while spending summers at my aunt's place in the village and how she was making me work so hard but at the end she always made sure she gave me money and the tears that were coming out of her eyes were just too much to bear so I would cry too wishing I never had to go back home even though I miss my home so much. The memories that I have made while with my mother's side of the family are the same memories I wish my children would experience at least in a day of their life time. At the same time there are some mess-ups that are part of my loving family from my mother side that were ( they are dead now) alcoholics. The fights that I have seen taking place while my uncle was drunk, I had made a vow to myself to never endure such thing from anyone I am with. I have learned how to survive in this world and how to stay true to myself because of the loving side of my mother's family but I have also learned that whenever I mate with someone I do not like and approve of the overdose of the alcohol consumption. I am an occasional drinker and that is good enough for me. The first time in my life I got drunk I was 27 during my birthday party. Many of the people that came to my birthday party have bought me a drink. There were about 30 people and after the first 7 have got me drinks, I don't remember much, in fact most of the memories are from pictures and from what my friends have told me. Everyone had called me the next day to tell me that they wish to see me drunk again as I am a happy drunk. I didn't get drunk since, I did get tipsy though and I do know when to stop. I got drunk recently while I was at my friend's house, but let's just leave that there as I was responsible enough not to drive under the influence and I know my friend will not let me do that either.<br />
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On my father's side of the family there are some people that I miss not keeping in touch with but most of them I was not that much associated with as there was this distance between them and I am not referring to kilometers. My father was never around much when I was a child, he was working as a sailor and that kept him away from us most of the days. And even those days he was home he wasn't around much especially as I got older, he always had to go somewhere partying and keeping up appearances he did not have. He was also a womanizer trying to screw every woman that was alive and he never hid it from my mother and she had to endure it because "those were the times" as she always says. A recent side of my father that I have discovered since he was away for about 10 years as he moved to Canada, is that he is racist beyond words and he is an abuser as he abused me in more than one way, and I am not ready to go into details at the moment. I always felt as an outsider when I was around my father's side of the family. The positive side is that my father is the one that thought me how to read and write, math and how to use my critical thinking. He always kept his word when he made a promise and he loved to dance with me. One of my cousins, unfortunately he is dead now, was the person that I was looking forward to seeing and spending time with when I was around this side of the family. Everyone else was just too much for me to handle. I remember times when I used to beg my mother not to go visit my father's mother because she would always wine about something and she would favor my other cousins. That was not the environment I wanted to be in but she would always make me go even though tears were coming down my cheeks begging her to change her mind. Now, if I know myself well enough to say that although I do have faults the part that I took from my father's side is the positive way I spend with my children teaching them the love of books and to keep their word. We also dance a lot.<br />
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So, to analyze myself, I can say that I have taken many good and bad attitudes from both my parents but does that mean that I have to be compared to them? I don't think so as I am an individual and I am not them or the family that I come from. I am definitely not an alcoholic and I am not a distant person. I am not an abuser and I have never cheated on someone I have been with. I have, however become this woman that does not care too much for a relationship as I have been through trials and tribulations with my past relationships and, unlike my mother, I do not believe in "the times" being the way they might be as I have taken myself away from two relationships where children were involved because I refused to be in the same situation as she was. Just as my mother, I have accomplished many things when it comes to survival. Coming to Canada alone has given me the tools to survive in any situation I am in and, as one of my friends says all the time, "I'm not too proud to beg" either. I can definitely keep up appearances that I DO have. I do take time to spend with my children and I make sure that I tell them I love them on a daily basis.<br />
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If there is ever an occasion arising, where you might meet me, do me a favor and don't ask me about my family unless you are ready to hear the truth. And don't judge me by their life as I am NOT them. A piece of advice: get to know ME first. See who I AM. See what I AM about and then and actually not even then judge me. I am sure that if I get to turn the tables around the story is not better off than mine so think again before wanting to know so much. Take your time!<br />
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Love, D.<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3266487563469862054.post-79454748788000979262010-12-30T11:33:00.001-05:002010-12-30T11:34:16.092-05:00New ChallengesLast night I started writing about how last year, around this time, I took this trip away from the ordinary for 24 hours and how amazing it was. I decided to change the subject today and talk about something else: love.<br />
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What is love anyways? I never understood love. I was watching this documentary about love and how we need to love ourselves and let the love of God guide us on what love is. I have followed these women talk about love and although many of them seemed happy, some of them were quite disappointed I could say. Many of them were at the age where they did not have children although they wish they had some and it was quite possibly too late for them to even conceive. Many of them did not want to have children but they wanted to have that special someone to be around them when they are home for the lonely days. Many of the women that were showcased in the documentary were professionals and they were very successful. I guess in order for a woman to be successful she must sacrifice the family that she always dreamed of. It is a sad reality that as women we have to sacrifice so much to become someone. One thing that gets me regarding my life is when people, especially other women, judge women for the decisions that they make. From my studies I have learned that in the past women have gone through so much to be where they are today and still, we have to sacrifice and accept things or better yet, challenge things from our own lives to become who we we are intended to be. <br />
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I have made my decision earlier in life to have children and I have two beautiful and smart daughters that I am very proud of. It is very tough to be the sole parent to them and the only support that I get is my mother and my sister. I sometimes fear that someday, when they will all be grown up, my daughters will not have the tools and the knowledge to be who they are meant to be. I do the best that I know. I do the best that I can. I do MY best. I love my daughters unconditionally and I take my role as a parent serious. <br />
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As far as career goes, I am on my way to the top and although it is hard to do it in my situation I don't look at it as impossible. I look at it as challenging. And I love a good challenge, I mean after all these years I am a pro at challenges. There are many new things I am going to take on this year like following my dreams and take the necessary steps in doing so. YES! I am excited! <br />
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When it comes to relationship with that significant other...it has got to wait until that "other" will be the one to enhance my dreams and support my challenges. Being single is giving me the power to think and to move forward without having to wait for someone to be at the same level that I am. I am not saying I am closing my door but instead I am focusing on what is important. When that significant other will show up the door is unlocked. I am happy with myself, by myself. I am happy that I get to have my health and my motivation to move forward. I am happy that I am happy o.O <br />
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In conclusion, I am looking forward to the new year and what it has to offer. I am looking forward to overcoming my challenges and to be spending the time with my children. I am looking forward to spending time with my family and my friends. i am looking forward to making new friends and new relationships with people that will be meaningful. Life is beautiful and I am happy to be in it! <br />
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Love D.<div class="blogger-post-footer">All rights reserved.</div>Doinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12455349202437629304noreply@blogger.com4