Learn to Listen

For the last few years I have been to hell and back some can say and it is not the first time I've experienced that but this time around had been though. It wasn't me alone that have had to travel to the extreme but I had brought my two children with me for the roller coaster ride.

During this time I needed a lot of support from the people around me and I felt it was my RIGHT to get it from them. I was crying, ranting, venting and most of my friends were listening to me either they wanted to or not ~ Yes, I am blessed to have some of the best people in this Planet around me. The problem that I have with myself, and I have noticed this as of late, is that I keep on ranting and it doesn't really do me any good. I am not learning and I am craving knowledge. I take full blame for it and I know that that its because I am not listening to others enough.

It is time I start learning how to listen actively and I am making myself a promise that I will allow people to speak first and take in their stories as an experience. So for that I will enforce the following:

• look people in the eye if permitted
• allow them to speak without interruptions
• make it all about them and not include me in the process

In order for me to learn how to listen I will practice not talking unless asked a question directly and make the answer just about that question.

I understand it is a process and I do need to have patience to succeed but perseverance will overcome and it will benefit me in the long run because as I Learn to Listen I will Listen to Learn and that will be a reward on its own, something that most people are afraid to do. I am hoping that by doing so it will strengthen my relationships with the people that are already here, standing strong and tall in my life and for the new people that are coming into my life: What's your story?

Peace and Love.

D.

Living In The NOW

I am constantly reminded by practically everyone around me of the days to come and the things that I have to do for tomorrow and for the days ahead. What I have been asking myself lately is that why isn’t anyone concentrating on today, on NOW, this moment? So I am taking the matter into my own hands and I will be living my life according to MY RULES...Living In The NOW! I figured it must be simple and guess what? I am right. I am not saying to rule out some things that matter for the future such as financial stability and a good sense of self, however when it comes to my everyday life I want to live in the moment and make EVERY moment count. I know that the Creator will make me a better person because by appreciating what I have in front of me will assist me into realizing that the small things do make a big difference in the long run. Taking the time will help me improve on myself starting with the inner self. Lately I have been rushing through things and taking a lot of time for other people to be of assistance to their needs that I have forgotten of my own needs in the process and that had contributed to me running low on energy for myself. So after analyzing a few things I have come up with the conclusion that Living In The NOW will allow me to do the following:

• Take better care of myself which will allow me to take better care of my children
• Be more aware of my needs which will allow me to be more aware of my children’s needs
• Create a better person out of me which will help me rule out the people that I need to eliminate out of my life, you know the ones that always want to take but never want to give back in return.

Yes, Living In The NOW will allow me to become the person that I want to be and that in its own will improve my future. So from now on when I will hear someone talking to me about my future my question for them will be: “What have you done for yourself lately? “

And This Is ME Living In The Now!

Reflections

I'm laying on the floor feeling the coldness of the hardwood. I started to breathe. I tried to clear my mind to eliminate the negative thought that are coming through my mind about my life. Although it feels hard to believe that I have achieved so much so far, I feel as if I am looking at another better person that me. It is me, in fact, the one that I am looking at. I breathe again, I let the air feel my stomach. I feel the toxins coming out of my body as I breathe out. I breathe again, and this time I feel a tear escaping my eye. Why? Because all the negative thoughts, actions and feelings are coming out of me. OUT! I know I am strong and I can do anything, and YES I am realizing, again, that the strong one that I am looking at it is me. Yes I have done it, I have made it through tougher situations but I am tired. I remind myself of the tiredness that I feel through my body. More tears escape my soul and the more tears are coming out the better I feel. I needed this cry. I needed to feel, I needed to experience...and I felt, I experienced...

I feel wings of courage coming to take me to where I need to go. Yes, I can do this. I WILL do this. My vision of myself is where it needs to be at this time. I was supposed to learn something and I have learned it. I am STRONG! And that in itself it is more than what others posses.

STRENGTH TO BE ME...TO ACHIEVE...TO JUST BE!

D.

16

Sixteen years ago I landed in Canada with hopes and dreams of a better life.

It feels like yesterday my sister and I were in the plane maping out our lives,hoping for the better and fearing the worst. Our biggest fear was that my father would change his mind and not wait for us in the airport ( for the ones who do not know, he was absent from our lives for 10 years prior). We were making plans for what are we going to do in case that happens. "I'm taking the first plane back." my sister said. "Not me, Im staying!" I replied. That courage was coming from inside of me thinking that the hardships I had to endure and the lifestyle that I left behind was not an incentive for me to even think of going back. I will make it, I will work hard and make things possible for me. After all this is the land of opportunities, this is the land where dreams become reality, this is the land where people make something of themselves and hard work will speak for itself.

Although it had been very hard and many obstacles had come my way, I can honestly say that I am happy being here. I am happy that my life had changed and that the decision that I made to stay here in Canada had turned out to be one of the best decision that I have made.

I sit back and wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if I were not to come here. I will probably be married to someone that I don`t love. He would get to make decisions for me. I would be raising children and not be appreciated for it. I may or may not have been working and if I were to be working I probably would not have control over my money.

I thank the Creator for allowing me to live my life now the way I want to, the way that it makes me happy! I thank the Creator for giving me endless opportunities for improvement on myself and on making a diference in someone`s life, my children`s life! Thank you!

Peace and love,

Doina

I'm still living in the NOW!

From past experiences I realised that life is full of surprises but having the right support makes a crucial difference on what we become as individuals. To give you an example, let me tell you a little about my past. When I came to Canada, 16 years ago, I had nothing in my pocket and I wasn't equipped with knowledge about life either, at least not equipped with the lifestyle here, in Canada. I didn't speak the language, didn't have any friends, I was an outkast amongst my fellow Romanians as they were cooler than me simply because they came here before I did and obviously they knew much more than me about the Canadian way. I tried to make friends with many of them but it was hard because as much as I tried I did not feel like I belonged. My lifestyle at home was diferent than what they will encounter with their own families. They thought I was this lucky young woman to have it all, when in reality I didn't have anything, not even control over my own thoughts. I was controlled by my father and that wasn't easy at all. So, after a few years, I realised that in order for me to become myself I needed to separate myself from that environment but in order to do that successfully I needed encouragement. I needed to feel empowered. I was lucky to have my sister that gave me strenght. It is hard to believe sometimes that my sister and I have a relationship more than a friendly one, but her and I had been through a lot together. She had been there for me and I had been there for her to the best of my abilities. So here she was being my right hand, what I needed to be able to move forward to finding myself. It was a long journey and not easy at all. But with her help I have become the woman I am today, not to say Im perfect in any way or that my sister and I don't fight, because that would be a lie, but as far as I am concerned her and I have gone thorugh a lot together and that's what made us bond even more. Our relationship is not perfect but it is Honest, more that what most posses in their relationships with whomever.

I give thanks to my sister for her support. I challenge you to find your own "sister" to support you because as much as we don't want to admit it, we all need someone to be there for us in challenging times.

What do I want to be when I grow up? I don't even know many times. I think the best answer to that would be a better person. If I have to sit here and think about the many things that I could become it will take a long time to do so because I want to do so much; I want to change the world into a better place if I could do it on my own but in being a better person will allow me to be my best at whatever I may chose to do in life starting with being a better mother, daughter, sister, friend...

Still living in the NOW!

Peace and Love.

D.