Yesterday, as I went to pick up my children from the daycare, I had a wake up call: my kids are all grown up!
My oldest daughter, Sarah, is acting like a little lady and a pre-teen all in one. Yes, she's a package! She wants to have the privilege of being a little lady when it comes to making decisions for her. At the same time she does not know what the best decision to make is. I believe that children her age still need guidance in order to make the best decision. She also is a little hesitant in accepting consequences. She believes that there shouldn't be any! As a parent, I am a firm believer that children should have the option to make their own decisions in SOME cases. There are however situations when she does not have a say in the matter, especially when it comes to her safety. What I hate the most is that some people like to come in and tell me what is the decision for her to make and what is not...that is for ME to decide as I know best especially when it comes to her personality. My only fear is that I may fail at being a good parent. I was watching a show last night and the teenage boy in that show was a good kid and the mother (single mother just like me) was trying the best she could but she still was making mistakes as to the decisions of disciplining she was choosing to follow. Will I know what to do when the time comes fro me to raise a teenager? I guess time will tell!
My youngest daughter, Maya, had moved from the toddler room to the junior preschool room in the daycare. I went to the toddler room and I am not seeing her there. I ask about her and the care taker tells me that she had not returned for the day when she went visiting the preschool room. A feeling of joy mixed with sadness had filled my heart. Really? Where did the time go? I went to the preschool room and as I am there looking at her enjoying herself I just wish that she will stay the same, but that means I am being selfish. Is it wrong to not want my children to grow up? She is giving me hugs and kisses all the time. She sees me as the center of her world. Would that change as she will grow? May be but I do love my children enough to allow them to grow and not just in age. I know that I will miss the hugs, the kisses, the closeness, the need to have mommy close by and all of that good stuff that I am getting now from my children. Maya is still allowing me to enjoy all the things that a baby is giving their mother although Sarah is all grown up and wanting her independence. What I know for sure that as babies and as grown women my children will bring me the satisfaction of being their mother as they will grow themselves and different stages will show up, sometimes unannounced.
I love my children; anyone that knows me well enough will know this. I love the fact that they are in my life to allow me to parent them, to teach them and to help them grow. I feel blessed to be able to be a parent, the best one that I know how. I feel blessed to teach my children what I know and be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on and laugh with them when we all share our good memories.
And the memories together will be the ones that I am blessed to have because I am their mother.