Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Challenges

Last night I started writing about how last year, around this time, I took this trip away from the ordinary for 24 hours and how amazing it was. I decided to change the subject today and talk about something else: love.

What is love anyways? I never understood love. I was watching this documentary about love and how we need to love ourselves and let the love of God guide us on what love is. I have followed these women talk about love and although many of them seemed happy, some of them were quite disappointed I could say. Many of them were at the age where they did not have children although they wish they had some and it was quite possibly too late for them to even conceive. Many of them did not want to have children but they wanted to have that special someone to be around them when they are home for the lonely days. Many of the women that were showcased in the documentary were professionals and they were very successful. I guess in order for a woman to be successful she must sacrifice the family that she always dreamed of. It is a sad reality that as women we have to sacrifice so much to become someone. One thing that gets me regarding my life is when people, especially other women, judge women for the decisions that they make. From my studies I have learned that in the past women have gone through so much to be where they are today and still, we have to sacrifice and accept things or better yet, challenge things from our own lives to become who we we are intended to be.

I have made my decision earlier in life to have children and I have two beautiful and smart daughters that I am very proud of. It is very tough to be the sole parent to them and the only support that I get is my mother and my sister. I sometimes fear that someday, when they will all be grown up, my daughters will not have the tools and the knowledge to be who they are meant to be. I do the best that I know. I do the best that I can. I do MY best. I love my daughters unconditionally and I take my role as a parent serious.

As far as career goes, I am on my way to the top and although it is hard to do it in my situation I don't look at it as impossible. I look at it as challenging. And I love a good challenge, I mean after all these years I am a pro at challenges. There are many new things I am going to take on this year like following my dreams and take the necessary steps in doing so. YES! I am excited!

When it comes to relationship with that significant has got to wait until that "other" will be the one to enhance my dreams and support my challenges. Being single is giving me the power to think and to move forward without having to wait for someone to be at the same level that I am. I am not saying I am closing my door but instead I am focusing on what is important. When that significant other will show up the door is unlocked. I am happy with myself, by myself. I am happy that I get to have my health and my motivation to move forward. I am happy that I am happy o.O

In conclusion, I am looking forward to the new year and what it has to offer. I am looking forward to overcoming my challenges and to be spending the time with my children. I am looking forward to spending time with my family and my friends. i am looking forward to making new friends and new relationships with people that will be meaningful. Life is beautiful and I am happy to be in it!

Love D.

Monday, December 20, 2010


I am geting ready for my exam and I am totally unprepared for it. Yes, I do have a B+ average so far and that should help...That was just random.

Holidays are approaching and I am as prepared as I will ever be. I want to bring out this year the real meaning of the Holidays and not just because I am totally broke but also for the fact that I want my children to understand that REAL meaning of it. We are not going to buy any gifts and I didn't buy any as of yet. We are not expecting any gifts and I had made it clear to my friends not to bother. We are, however going to have a feast and we will be making all kinds of foods from back home. We will be baking and the kids will be included in the making of this food and we will be giving thanks to the All Mighty for providing us with the abundance of the things we will have on our table.

Just as it was growing up, we will be warming up all of the food on the morning of Christmas Day and the kids will have an opportunity to sample all the foods that we will be making. We will be going to church to say our blessings. I do not want to forget my spiritual side and I want to introduce my children to it as well. It is in fact what kept me sane all these years, I want the same for my kids.

I am soo excited for my Christmas Day! Looking forward to spending it with my family and the ones that I consider family!

Peace and Love!


Thursday, December 16, 2010

What is Love?

I have been asking myself this question for many years not understanding the concept of love.

I have had many people explain to me what love is supposed to be, feel or what I should expect from love. I have encountered a few occasions where I had though that I was in love. But the truth is I have never loved anyone. I have been in a few relationships lasting anywhere from 8 months to 3 years with a few dates here and there but I cannot say that I have loved any of this men. How could I? In the end I have been lied to, cheated on, treated like a second class citizen, abused to name a few. The feeling that I had for them was just an illusion, a want and a need to feel accepted and wanted by someone so I have given so much of me that I do not have anything left to give.

I have taken time to learn that the only love that matters is my love for myself and that love is the only true love. I have learned that in order for me to have the ability to love someone I have to know what love feels like and loving myself is what unconditional love is. Yes, Yes, Yes...I feel Free! I feel Liberated! I am me and I love myself. I don't know if I will really love someone the way I love myself, but what I know for sure is that in loving myself I will be ensured that I receive the love that I need and that I will not settle for substitutes. On another note, I really do not want to settle for someone that has a lot of issues to work on unless he is taking the necessary steps in working on these issues himself and start already. There is nothing worst  than meeting someone that is nowhere near starting on working on his issues and knowing how far I have come, I will not back down for anyone.

For the one that is out there meant to be MY one, I'm here doing my thing and if it happens that we meet, that would be lovely...but until then I will continue loving myself because to me, that's what love is!


Monday, December 13, 2010


2010 had been a year that I will never forget. Many ups and downs that I have had to deal with, many friendships made and some lost and the power of moving forward that I have come to own.

The ups and downs were just things that I have dealt with whether they were new things or things that I had to finalize and move away from. I have to say that although it had been hard, I am proud of what I have accomplished this year and one thing in particular is my "finding" of myself that I can honestly say I am happy with...myself.

Let me talk a little bit about the friendships and when it comes to the ones that I have lost, well they are lost for a good reason...expiration date had been long gone but I had forgotten to discard the people that were somewhat poison in my life. When people do not contribute to my growing I have learned that it is better to let them go and move on. I don't mean to sound cruel but if I do not take care of myself no one else is. Everyone is out there taking care of themselves and here I was taking care of everyone else but me. It is time I raise my hand and stand up. My time has come to grow. And that I will be doing.

Moving forward comes hand in hand with the issues above and also with the fact that I have learned to deal with those things first hand.

Resolutions for the new year are just a continuum of the last year's resolutions and that is for me to be ME and  have the power to know the difference.

Peace and Love.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Romania and HIV

As today is the National Day of Romania and World HIV Day i thought it would be appropriate to raise awareness on the two.

I will not write much because I posted the links below which will explain a lot.

And this is my way of raising awareness!

Peace and Love